The reason I chose the theater masks is because growing up theater was a huge part of my life. Ever since I was little I was in ballet class, dance class, Broadway Bound Kids, which is a local theater group where I live, or doing auditions. I can still remember the way the lights dimmed as the curtains closed, I could still feel my heart beating like a racehorse, faster, faster, faster. I ran off stage into the dressing room full of poufy dresses that had large petty coats. It was hard to catch a breath in such a small space. When changing into my costume I could barely move without hitting someone’s side with my elbow. As I got into my next outfit I ran to side stage filled with backstage helpers and the directors assistant. She was reading gracefully over the pages of the script skimming to make sure everything was on cue. The cast was quietly awaiting the next scene and watching our Julie Andrews wannabe skip across the stage singing to the sound of music.
The lights on stage were hot, melting my makeup off like fire penetrating a cigarette, the floors were dirty and had scuff marks from previous plays that took place years before. I smiled as my heart started to race again. It wasn’t the bad kind of racing either. It was the kind where you feel the crowds clapping. Louder, louder, louder, the claps were full of excitement. The lights dimmed again and I took my place on stage along with the rest of the Von Trap Family. Once the curtains opened I could see the audience’s smiling faces, they became wider as the lights started to slowly turn on. The music started and we began singing around the stage dancing in unison and saying lines. I made sure to nail every line I had and felt a sense of achievement. It felt good to impact the audience with our performance. The final scene was done and we were singing the big finale. Are faces were smiling big like we just won the Nobel Prize. As we finished off So Long Farwell with the entire cast, fireworks shot out like canon balls. We started moving back into the stage as the curtains started closing and were ecstatic we accomplished our first show. When I got back stage I was greeted by my parents who were smiling ear to ear. They handed me roses and chocolate and congratulated me. I was so proud that I got to be Martha in the Sound of Music and its still a memory that carries with me today. Theater has and always will be a part of my life. Although I am no longer participating in theater I still like to go to the Broadway shows in San Francisco. I think that the whole idea of performing a play that is overly dramatic is intriguing to me.
Participating in theater not only helped me become less shy but also gave me good morals. Instead of going out and doing destructive things I went to in rehearsal, which helped me have structure in my life.

1. What is the writer�s thesis? Can you find the statement? Is it the main point the rest of the essay works to develop?
ReplyDeleteGrowing up in the theater life and how it molded her life. She gave a great description of what these days looked like in this life. Very nice repetition of words to give a good feel of description and capture attention.
2. What evidence is cited to prove and support the writer�s thesis? What pieces of evidence are cited from the readings and/or the writer�s observations to support the thesis?
“growing up theater was a huge part of my life. Participating in theater not only helped me become less shy but also gave me good morals. Instead of going out and doing destructive things I went to in rehearsal, which helped me have structure in my life. “
3. Is the writer�s reasoning/critical thinking provided to explain how the evidence proves and supports the thesis?
Possibly alittle more elaborate in the criticism of living a theater life as a child. Analyzing performances would describe this life better for us.
Possibly the age you started and if there were breaks in between?
4. What else could the writer cite as evidence in this essay?
Alittle more detail on the real life stories and the advantages and disadvantages to this life in alittle more detail.
6. What�s strong about the essay?
The feeling of being present and hearing the crowd and the anguish of preparation that went into theater life.
7. What other suggestions or feedback do you want to provide the writer?
Were there huge language barriers in theater? The education preparation to be in theater life for those who know nothing about it.
Was the result much the same night after night if so did you like the repetition?
I find at times singing can be difficult when you have to change your voice for each song..was any of this difficult for you?
Your draft was a great read! It was clear to put a picture to the words you were using the whole time. You thesis statement was clear and easy to find. Here are some things to think about though, How old were you when you actually started performing, How long did this period of time last for, and what was the reason for stopping? You give so many details about an actual performance you did, but left it at that. Describe how you felt during every performance you did, your emotions for each one. It is very hard to find things to tell you to elaborate on in this essay because it was great the first time around! Cant wait to see the final essay!
ReplyDeleteGreat essay! Your essay has a clear thesis and great imagery. It is clear that theater has an impact on your life. Essay is well put together and needs just little more about theater life not only the single performance. All in all a great essay with great imagery.
ReplyDeleteGood luck,
Haruki